~What in the Hell?~

Thursday, January 27, 2005

~ You Can't Please Everyone ~

It would seem that several of my loyal readers are distressed by the turn of events in my one story. They have voiced their concern wondering why our heroine would fall for such a thing when she's smarter than that. And why would the lovely Mr. Parker's alter ego need to resort to such a thing? Can't she see that he wants in her pants?

Uhm, first of all, he's doing just because he can. He's a brat, plain and simple and likes to torture the poor girl. Second, she thinks he is torturing her because he DISLIKES her - not because he wants her. What sort of person would torture someone if they wanted in their pants? Doesn't make any sense to her.

Second of all, he tried to teach this trick to her current lover but he got all upset and mad about it. So Mr Evil wants her to know what she's been missing in the hopes that he can get BOTH of them! (Why settle for just one when you can have both, right? That's his thinking anyway. And he's got an enormous . . . .

EGO - Made you look! That just won't settle for anything less).

Third, trust me, my dears, Mr wicked isn't going to resort to this trick of his to get her in the end. No way would he EVER! His ego would not allow it. He wants to tame her on her own terms, not by subterfuge. If he took her by trickery, he would always wonder if she truly did desire him or if it were just his trickery that brought her to him. No, no, no!

Apparently I have not made his motivations and enormity of his ego clear enough. That would be my bad and I must fix this. He would never allow it! He wants to TAME her. He must TAME her outright and not by trickery. If not, there would always be that nagging doubt in his mind that she did not truly desire him and he would never be able to live with that.

Oh, my dear Mr. Parker, I fear I have failed you somewhat. I'm hoping this will all become clear to them in the end when all the fine threads of this tapestry are brought together and tied off in a nice little bow. It will all make sense in the end. And everyone will get what they want - in one way or the other. I promise.

That horrid creature would not let me rest if I didn't do his story justice. Trust me! He's been on my butt incessantly about his "big scene" as I explained earlier. Now he's brought even my loyal readers down on my head because of his vileness. And what's in it for me I ask you? Nada. Just a bit of praise for HIS story. The story HE is forcing me to write! It's all for him! It's all for you, dear readers! I'm pouring his guts out as he wants it and I have to live with HIM every day. You I can ignore most of the time.

But him! Gah! His whispers in the night, the sounds he makes when he wants my attention, the smell of him, the look in his eyes when I've not done something to exactly his liking. It's barbaric, I tell you and there is no escaping him! Which really wouldn't be half bad if he would just behave! But noooooo - that would be too easy and we can't have that. We must annoy everyone right up until they scream then we'll consider giving in.

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The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 10:14 AM

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

~ The Latest Dating Freaks ~

Ah, yes! I knew it wouldn't take long for the strange and bizarre to return to the site after the holidays. Where do these people come from?

I've gotten several rather interesting inquiries to my profile lately. Here's a sampling of the more interesting individuals. Some of them are just so repetitive that I won't even mention them.

One was some old geezer in Canada who wanted me to come and live with him over the summer! WTF??? I'm like "dude, I have a very good paying job and I'm not in a mind to leave it for YOUR Viagra taking-ass, no thank you!" Obviously this man didn't even bother to read the part where I said I didn't want/need any dudes cash because I have enough of my own! Either that or he figures that I'm just going to quit my job to spend three months with him. As if! (Maybe if it were the Big O making such an offer, I would consider it - for about a day or so - lol!)

Another one was a dude who didn't even send a picture or say anything remotely casual. He starts in right away "tell me about the threesome. Was it MFM or FMF?" This tickled me to no end. First of all, it's none of your business. And second of all you'll just have to read about it at adultfanfiction.net under my penname (you know where the links are). Or wait until the book comes out. What do you think about that? :-P Now go away and leave me alone.

Speaking of my writing, it's coming along ok for the most part. However, the evil Mr. Parker refuses to show me the ending of this one particular story that he forced me to write. So now I'm just sitting here, waiting, begging, asking him to speak and he has turned his nose up at me. Hateful bastard!

Instead, he keeps insisting that I'm not writing his "big" sex scene good enough for him. Not to his liking (I just typed that as "licking" talk about a Freudian slip! lol!). And keeps tormenting to rewrite it over and over again. "It has to be just so" he keeps saying. Well whatever. Just give it to me will you? I think he secretly likes to torture me so he will only give me dribs and drabs at a time thus prolonging his time in my presence. Or the other way around.

He won't give me the end until I get this sex part just right. It is his "big scene" and he wants to make everyone all week in the knees and giddy. He's such an egotistical, preening, horny bastard I don't know if I can stand much more of him! lol!

Between him and my readers I don't know which is worse wanting the sex! It's not like he hasn't had any up until this particular point. Oh, no! He's been having his fun, trust me! But he wants this to be particularly good. Even better than any of the other ones regarding another character he considers his "rival". He wants everyone to swoon at the mere mention of his name. I'm thinking "well, write it yourself, you hateful old thing." But he won't. It wouldn't be nearly as much fun for him. Nah. He likes to torment. It's some sort of power game with him. Ah, well.

Yes, my readers. Where would we be without them? I thought I'd written enough pointless smut to keep even the most ravenous reader happy but, alas, that must not be so. Some want me to just cut to the sex in this particular story but it's not about that. It is Mr. Parker's story of power, control, desire and doing anything you can to get what you want no matter how long it takes. The sex is just a means to an end so to speak. He wants to control and dominate. And yet he also wants to be adored - his ego demands that his conquests adore and worship him. He's rather shallow and yet complicated in an odd way.

I can't just throw him in the sack with any old thing. Nooooooo! He would not tolerate it. Trust me. And I don't want to hear it from him if I did. No. He wants to conquer someone he considers worth the effort. Someone who would continue to give him all the challenges and mental stimulation he could ever want even after the sex is done. Someone he would never really know if he had truly conquered or not. That's what his story is about and the longer it takes for him to reach his goal the better he likes it. Hmmm. Maybe that's why he won't give me what I want, yes? Humph! *scowls at no one in particular*

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The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 9:12 AM

Thursday, January 13, 2005

~ Drabble ~

First off, Happy Birthday to The Big O - Orlando is all of 28 today. I remember when I was 28 vaguely. Too much tequila has that effect on me for some reason . . . but I digress! If anyone happens to run into Mr. Lickalicious, would you please remind him that I have a very special "present" for him that he needs to - "collect" in person. :-D

So today at work I get a request from "the boss" to forward her all the stupid absurd requests I've gotten lately. I choose two (there are just too many). She comes to me and says, "I can't believe it! This is ridiculous! We can't just launch this in two months!" I just look at her and say, "that's not even anything out of the ordinary, sadly." She has decided to speak to her boss about this matter. Yeah. Like they're going to put a stop to it. We make too friggin' much money for them to put the brakes on the cash cow.

The thing that kills me, tho, is that there are 4 of us here doing 70% of the work and our counterparts in Japan do 30% of the work with 9 people and THEY complain THEY are SWAMPED! WTF???? Yeah, come see me and we'll talk. Sheesh!

In the news today - Angela Nikadinov's mother was killed in a car accident on the way to their hotel for the US National Figure skating championships yesterday. Does that not suck? That poor girl.

No skating for me lately - working too much and I just don't have the energy to get on the ice after busting my ass in here all day. A lot of times I do physical labor and it just wears me out! I must be getting old! lol!

Disappointingly, there have been no new freaks on the dating scene. Or maybe I've just become too jaded. Probably a little of both. I'm still getting inquiries from dudes all over the world which just surprises the hell out of me. It's not like they will ever SEE me in person or anything so I don't understand it. Maybe they're bored or want to practice their English. The hell if I know what they are thinking. Ah well.

Monday I am taking my parents to the Art Museum. I'm off work and they want to go. So they will bring my precious fur baby down for a visit. Maybe I'll pick him up tomorrow night and exercise my visitation rights over the weekend and let them take him home on Monday. He's such a spoiled little monster! lol! But I just love him! Of course, THEY spoil him. I would never!

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The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 5:19 PM

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

~ Work is a 4-letter word ~

Why? Why are people so stupid?

Witness -It's November. Person X says "I need this by end of December for March production. I know we don't have the data ready but I'm betting that Z will win so we're going to start all this work based on Z winning." So I do all the work. Guess what? Z doesn't win. R does. And guess what else? He thinks I can get all this work done AGAIN by March. I tell him he's on crack. He says, "well, my mangement wants it by then." WTF? Sorry 'bout your luck, idiot, but it ain't happening. You knew you were taking a risk by betting on Z. It didn't win so now it's back to square one. There is no jumping to square three just because you WANT to. Can I please smack the piss outta this idiot?

Next up - person Q says "Can you send me Y number of samples? I don't know what I want for sure, but it will be one of 6 things." I say, "sure, as soon as you tell me what you want, I can send them."

"Well, I don't know what I want but I need to know I can get it by the end of the month." I shit you not, this is what she said to me. WTF??? Do you people think I just snap my fingers and anything you want appears? I'm not some sort of djinn, people! If I were I sure as hell wouldn't be holed up HERE, now, would I?

Then, she adds the kicker of "well, this isn't just for experiment D. It's also for E, F and G as well. And I think maybe H but I'm not sure."

"When are you going to be sure?" I growl.

"I don't know. Marketing can't make up their mind on a color." My teeth gnash together and I begin cursing in several tongues. If there is one thing I hate it is fucking marketing. Those dimwits sit in their ivory towers splitting hairs over the stupidest shit waiting until the last minute and then I am supposed to snap my fingers and make it appear. So I tell her "who in marketing? I'll tell them the same thing I told you - when they make up their minds it will take at least two weeks after that point in time. IF I am feeling charitible and IF no one else bursts into flames." Needless to say, she wouldn't give me the name of the guilty party. I wonder why? Probably because I would tell them what dumbasses they are. Make up your mind or shut the hell up.

Finally - as if that isn't enough to make one claw one's eyes out (or someone else's), I get this note today stating that the "usual" way we "go about things" is no longer valid. Now we have to fill out more paperwork and justify everything because - well, I don't know why, exactly. I can't seem to get a straight answer out of anyone.

Some days it's just not worth chewing thru my leather restraints, you know? This week has been like that. I liked it a lot better when everyone was gone over the holiday and I didn't have to deal with the idiots. I guess they saved it all up for when they got back.

You know, normally I don't mind doing a bit of extra work. But not because YOU are a 'tard. You screwed up, deal with it. Don't try to pawn it off on me. I may not have a lot of pull around here but the next time you want something (and you will) I will make your life miserable. I don't forget those things. And I'm petty, I'll admit it. If I can visit karma on you I will and enjoy every single minute of it.

These pretentious posers are the same ones that spend most of our company meetings congratulating themselves and preening for the "big wheels". *where's that vomiting emoticon when I need it?* But they don't do any work. They just demand and scream and cry and threaten. We do the work. They take the credit. Sounds like the government, don't it? Yeah, well. Sorta like that.

But every now and then the stars align just right and I have the opprortunity to pay them back. Not often, mind you, but when I get the chance, hell yes! Rain hell on them! I sound so vindictive and petty and I can assure you that I am. Hey, I figure it is the least I can do. After all, no matter what happens I'll get blamed and they will take the credit. So I might as well get my digs in while I can! HA!

And this is my favorite - all the big wheels come to ME and ask ME why their inferiors are not doing their jobs. How in the hell do I know? Maybe YOU should hold your people accountable for their work. But I guess that would make too much sense. No, we can't ask our employees why they are fucking off. We must find someone totally removed from the situation and scream at them. Just because we are big wheels and can do it! This person must be held accountable for my employees' lack of production!

Yeah, I'm pretty much the whippin' bitch around here. We are held accountable for everything - even things we're not involved in - and rewarded for none of it.

The sad thing is, we've made so many miracles over the years that it's expected of us. No one even questions their ridiculous requests or thinks for one minute that maybe, just maybe, there isn't enough time to snap the wheels on the car before it races away.

One day soon I expect to turn blue and discover some sort of "mark of the djinn" on my body the way I can just "poof" and things magically appear/get done. And the way people expect me to produce a miracle every time.

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The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 2:16 PM

Monday, January 10, 2005

~ Just a General Update ~

Yes, Mr. Parker is still a bit angry and continues to pout. But now he's grown more hateful and odious. He has decided to only give me bits and pieces at a time - making me beg and plead for the details. That's probably what he wanted in the first place, the bastard! He just wanted to hear me plead. I can see him now with that smug look on his face. Oh, I just want to smack him!

Well, you'd better take care, mister! 'Cause it is still MY fingers on the keys! And I can be pretty damned mean right back, you hear me?? pttthhhh!

Work is busy. Again. Everyone is back in and going crazy. Pretty much par for the course around here. Found some quite interesting excuses for missing work, tho. Here's the list from MSN.com:

I was sprayed by a skunk. (ICK!)
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious. (I can see this happening in our house, too!)
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers. (Like, wasn't this a movie plot?)
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity. (I'll bet!)
I forgot to come back to work after lunch. (Same person who tripped over the dog?)
I couldn't find my shoes. (Sounds like ME - or Zitney Spears!)
I hurt myself bowling. (I don't even wanna know what you were doing with that bowling ball!)
I was spit on by a venomous snake. (So what? I was spit on by a venomous co-worker!)
I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow. (Believe it or not, been there, done that. But it was a bike, not a Jeep!)
A hitman was looking for me. (WTF? OK, that is so bizarre not even I can believe it!)
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser. (X-tina perhaps?)
I eloped. (WTF? That's no excuse! That falls under the "poor planning on your part" category!)
My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up. (Good Lord, that applies to half of this company. Unfortunately, they STILL keep showing up!)
My cat unplugged my alarm clock. (Was this before or after you got sprayed by the skunk, tripped over the dog and lost your shoes?)
I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial. (Lemme guess - he's a hitman, right?)
I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India. (OK, this one would get me, I admit it!)
I forgot what day of the week it was. (Lay off the sauce!)
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night. (Oh, I HATE it when that happens! If you'd taken my advice on the above, you wouldn't have that problem, now, would you?)
A tree fell on my car. (This is more believeable than the cow falling on the car, I have to say!)
My monkey died. (Before or after you tripped over it? Maybe IT unplugged the alarm clock and the cat killed it so you'd be too upset about it's death to worry about missing work!)

So now I have some new excuses for calling in sick. I guess the old "hurling my guts out" just doesn't cut it anymore - I have to be more creative. Or why don't I just tell the truth? "I'm sick of working and need a day off before I commit hari-Karoake!" Think they'd buy it? I doubt it, too.

The dating scene is, well, dead. I met a couple of guys and nothing really caught my attention. One individual nearly earned my famous red-headed wrath for blatantly LYING to me about his appearance. It's sort of hard to spot someone in a crowd when they don't even remotely RESEMBLE the picture they sent you.

Of course, he recognized ME. A redhead with wasit-length hair is pretty hard to miss - even in a crowd. He said he didn't come and tell me who he was because he was "shy". WTF? You're on an ADULT SITE, idiot! If you don't have the cajones to at least TALK to a potential date then you're certainly not going to be up for anything else. He was summarily banished.

Then there is this one dude who apparently thinks he is all that because he's some model. Whatever. I told him simply - if you're interested then you need to start writing me back because I'm not going to keep asking you to meet. He hasn't written back. Banished!

Of course, there are these individuals who write you and you reply and never hear from again until a month later and you're like "who in the hell is this?" Needless to say, I tell them to get lost. If you can't even manage to write me once in a month, you've obviously got better things to do with your time than get laid. So get lost! Ptttthhh!

My favorite was a dude who recently wrote me and couldn't spell a damned word right. I think (I'm not sure because the spelling was so bad) that he's in love with my fat ass. But I dunno! So I read his profile and he's one of those "I need a good woman to pamper and spoil and take care of!" It took me over an hour to clean the vomit off my monitor! You need a good woman to break her foot off in your dumb ass! Get lost!

Moi? Bitter? Not on your life! I'm enjoying every single sadistic minute of this! The more responses I get, the happier I am to stay single. I would highly recommend this to any chick who believes that she can't get by without a guy. Just for the laughs alone!

And what surprises me is that I've been getting notes from dudes in Norway, England, Australia, LA, Chicago, Boston, NYC, Thailand, Germany, Italy - I'm stunned. Why? They are never going to meet me! It's crazy! o_O

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The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 11:56 AM

Monday, January 03, 2005

~ Ah, now he is angry ~

Ah, yes. Now he is angry with me and refuses to speak to me. But that is ok. I've gotten enough from his haunting to pretty much write the entire story. Altho I rather do wish he'd fill in some of the details.

But, no matter. He can be mad and pout if he likes. I know he won't be able to resist returning to me if only to make sure I give him his proper due. Isn't that right, Craig? Yes, I know you're mad now. Yes, I know you feel used but let me ask you this - who is more used? Me for writing this non stop at your behest or you because . . . ? Exactly.

Why is he angry? Because I have spoken of him, I think. But I am not sure. This is the first time I've experienced something like this before - being tormented by a movie character and his alter ego to write something for them. So I can't be sure. Maybe he figures I have enough to go on and no longer feels the need to haunt me. Or maybe he is angry that I've spoken of him before the work is completed. Or maybe he's just waiting until the time is right (write?) to "appear" again.

I will use this repreive to do the usual new years cleanout. All old clothes, junk, bills, etc. that are outdated/no longer used/needed. I have too many things that I don't really need. Don't we all? And I really should get rid of it. What is the point of keeping it if I don't need it?

So - happy new year to everyone! When I get a chance I will certainly have to post more on the dating stuff. Now that the new year is here and the holidays over, I anticipate a pick up in the number of emails asking for my info. And that is where the fun begins! Ah, yes! The real fun begins! Who knows, I may be haunted in the flesh and that would be seriously creepy! lol!

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The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 1:26 PM

~The Mighty Nephy~

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