Why? Why are people so stupid?
Witness -It's November. Person X says "I need this by end of December for March production. I know we don't have the data ready but I'm betting that Z will win so we're going to start all this work based on Z winning." So I do all the work. Guess what? Z doesn't win. R does. And guess what else? He thinks I can get all this work done AGAIN by March. I tell him he's on crack. He says, "well, my mangement wants it by then." WTF? Sorry 'bout your luck, idiot, but it ain't happening. You knew you were taking a risk by betting on Z. It didn't win so now it's back to square one. There is no jumping to square three just because you WANT to. Can I please smack the piss outta this idiot?
Next up - person Q says "Can you send me Y number of samples? I don't know what I want for sure, but it will be one of 6 things." I say, "sure, as soon as you tell me what you want, I can send them."
"Well, I don't know what I want but I need to know I can get it by the end of the month." I shit you not, this is what she said to me. WTF??? Do you people think I just snap my fingers and anything you want appears? I'm not some sort of djinn, people! If I were I sure as hell wouldn't be holed up HERE, now, would I?
Then, she adds the kicker of "well, this isn't just for experiment D. It's also for E, F and G as well. And I think maybe H but I'm not sure."
"When are you going to be sure?" I growl.
"I don't know. Marketing can't make up their mind on a color." My teeth gnash together and I begin cursing in several tongues. If there is one thing I hate it is fucking marketing. Those dimwits sit in their ivory towers splitting hairs over the stupidest shit waiting until the last minute and then I am supposed to snap my fingers and make it appear. So I tell her "who in marketing? I'll tell them the same thing I told you - when they make up their minds it will take at least two weeks after that point in time. IF I am feeling charitible and IF no one else bursts into flames." Needless to say, she wouldn't give me the name of the guilty party. I wonder why? Probably because I would tell them what dumbasses they are. Make up your mind or shut the hell up.
Finally - as if that isn't enough to make one claw one's eyes out (or someone else's), I get this note today stating that the "usual" way we "go about things" is no longer valid. Now we have to fill out more paperwork and justify everything because - well, I don't know why, exactly. I can't seem to get a straight answer out of anyone.
Some days it's just not worth chewing thru my leather restraints, you know? This week has been like that. I liked it a lot better when everyone was gone over the holiday and I didn't have to deal with the idiots. I guess they saved it all up for when they got back.
You know, normally I don't mind doing a bit of extra work. But not because YOU are a 'tard. You screwed up, deal with it. Don't try to pawn it off on me. I may not have a lot of pull around here but the next time you want something (and you will) I will make your life miserable. I don't forget those things. And I'm petty, I'll admit it. If I can visit karma on you I will and enjoy every single minute of it.
These pretentious posers are the same ones that spend most of our company meetings congratulating themselves and preening for the "big wheels". *where's that vomiting emoticon when I need it?* But they don't do any work. They just demand and scream and cry and threaten. We do the work. They take the credit. Sounds like the government, don't it? Yeah, well. Sorta like that.
But every now and then the stars align just right and I have the opprortunity to pay them back. Not often, mind you, but when I get the chance, hell yes! Rain hell on them! I sound so vindictive and petty and I can assure you that I am. Hey, I figure it is the least I can do. After all, no matter what happens I'll get blamed and they will take the credit. So I might as well get my digs in while I can! HA!
And this is my favorite - all the big wheels come to ME and ask ME why their inferiors are not doing their jobs. How in the hell do I know? Maybe YOU should hold your people accountable for their work. But I guess that would make too much sense. No, we can't ask our employees why they are fucking off. We must find someone totally removed from the situation and scream at them. Just because we are big wheels and can do it! This person must be held accountable for my employees' lack of production!
Yeah, I'm pretty much the whippin' bitch around here. We are held accountable for everything - even things we're not involved in - and rewarded for none of it.
The sad thing is, we've made so many miracles over the years that it's expected of us. No one even questions their ridiculous requests or thinks for one minute that maybe, just maybe, there isn't enough time to snap the wheels on the car before it races away.
One day soon I expect to turn blue and discover some sort of "mark of the djinn" on my body the way I can just "poof" and things magically appear/get done. And the way people expect me to produce a miracle every time.
The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 2:16 PM
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