I am completely. Last week I worked late almost every day trying to get this stuff caught up so when our legal clearance comes thru, I just have to hit "send" and it's a go. I also had to get Steve's tunic ready for the weekend so he could wear it. (Finish sewing all the beads on it. Made my poor fingers raw.)
I also had to get ready for my skating test on Sunday and get all my dress stuff together to display it on Monday. It's been a lot of "run, run, run" and no time to just sit and stare into space (as I occassionally like to do).
Thursday I worked on the tunic and ran out of fishing line. So I had to run out (in my jammies) and get more. It was pouring the rain and I got soaked (even with my rain coat on). Ugh.
Saturday I was going to drive up to Dayton to drop his tunic off and spend the day with everyone at Ceilidh and I got a flat tire on the way there. Fucking pain in the ASS trying to change a flat in a corset, let me tell you!
It was cold as fuck, I couldn't breathe because my corset was too tight and the car fell off the jack. I ended up busting up my knuckles and bleeding all over the place. Some man stopped to help me (thank the gods!) and some lady pulled up with a floor jack (bless her). They helped me and sent me on my way.
If not for the kindness of strangers, to be sure. Yes, I have Triple A and all that jazz but I've changed flat tires before with no problem. Had I been wearing jeans it wouldn't have been a big deal. But that fucking corset doesn't let you bend OR breathe so it's a bit more involved and time consuming. Fucking pain in the ass. (I was wearing the corset because my back was hurting. Yeah.)
I finally make it to Dayton on the donut (yeah.) I drop off the stuff, talk for a little bit then head to mom & dad's so I can pick up the good tire I have there (I have 5 tires for my car plus the donut. The donut stays in the trunk and the extra tire stays at my parents).
Dad and I change the tire and it's late. I have a skating test on Sunday and I need some sleep. (Since my back has been hurting, I haven't been sleeping too well). I get home and pretty much collapse after laying out my skating stuff for the next day.
Sunday I'm up at 8am to be at the rink by 10:30am. I can't find the damned place. Finally, I ask at a gas station and they tell me where it is. (A different rink from my "home rink"). I'm tired, I'm stressed and I just want a nap. More than anything else, I want a nap.
I've been feeling like I can't get my feet under me for the past three weeks and it just keeps on a comin'. I'm almost half scared someone is going to say something completely innocucous to me and I'm going to just burst into tears.
Anyway - the skating test. Completely mentally unprepared for it. Too much other shit swirling around. And this concerns me. I haven't had a chance to "think" about my test. I don't like that.
I was fine during the warmup. And then when I started my first move, my legs just started shaking so much I couldn't get them to do anything. And then my feet forgot what they were doing. I mean I just totally forgot. I had to laugh about it. I felt like a total dumb ass. How many times have I done this? And didn't I JUST do it like 10 minutes ago? But I still forgot.
(Actually, what happened was I told my conscious mind "STFU! Let the feet do their job, will you?" And, for once, it STFU. So I started skating and the feet got confused. It's a strange thing. I knew something was wrong but I didn't know WHAT. My body knew something was wrong because it wasn't in the right position to make the next step but my mind couldn't figure out what it was. It's weird.)
I skated over to my pro and I'm like "what am I doing?" She says, "8 step mohawk".
"yeah, I know that, but what am I supposed to do?" I'm like panicking almost now.
"Go ask the judges if you can have a reskate" she says calmly.
"No - no. Not that. What's the damned pattern? I can't remember it!" I'm about to go nuts. How in the HELL can I forget this?
"Oh," she says, calling on her mom instincts to calm me. "step, cross, step, outside mohawk. Step, step . . . "
And it hits me. "I did an inside, didn't I?" "yes".
What a DUMB ASS! No wonder my body was in the wrong position! Now feeling like a total 'tard, I skate back over and ask the judges if I can skate that again. They let me and this time FEET remember where they are supposed to go. I guess I need part of my conscious mind to say "step, step, cross . . ."
I didn't pass. *sad face* But that's ok. The back inside 3's that KILLED me on my pre-juv test (I failed those - MISERABLY - five fucking times) were actually pretty good, I thought. (They didn't pass by 0.1 point on this test). So I was very pleased with that. I hate those damned things but I have seen a GREAT improvement in them and I was very happy with the way I skated them. (They didn't pass because I made my turns too early. A very easy correction, all things considered).
Everyone who watched me seemed surprised I didn't pass but it's ok. I was just glad that I did as well as I did on the 3's. I was very concerned about them since I've had a history of screwing those up.
Sunday after my test, I hung around and talked then I went home and straight to bed for a well-deserved nap.
When I got up, I had to prepare to bring in one of my dresses for display so getting that together was a chore. This morning I got everything set up. Now I can sort of relax, I hope.
Steve and I are both pretty burnt out so we're going to Vegas this weekend. We have tickets to "O" on Sunday and I am very much looking forward to that. It will be nice just to get away and relax without having to be somewhere at some time and blah blah blah. Just run off to Vegas, see a show or two and lay around the casino while someone pours free booze in me. Oh, the humanity!
My last set of classes is starting up. Ugh. I need to get on the ball. Really, tho, I'd just like some rest. There doesn't seem to be enough of that going around.
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The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 10:07 AM
