I'm just beginning to see, now I'm on my way. It doesn't matter to me chasing the clouds away . . .
One of my fave Moody Blues songs and rather appropriate for the occassion.
An Ephiphany of sorts today. I was talking to "a friend" regarding the work situation and he says, "well, it's not like you to just up and walk away from a confrontation. What's up with that?"
When I thought about it in that way I was like "it's not worth it. That job isn't worth fighting for because it sucks." And that's the way it is. No matter what happens, the underlying lack of accountability, training, foresight and communication isn't going to change one whit.
So why would I want to fight for it? I don't like it now. It's not going to change. And I'm not going to "grow to like it" because I see it getting WORSE over time. It's a cluster fuck now I can't imagine what it's going to be like in a year or two when things "run out".
Now that I've "come to grips" with the fact that HR isn't going to help and I don't really want that damned job anyway I've made some plans.
First, I am determined to find a new job before the end of the year. That is my priority. The rest of these hysterical fuckers can go fish. *I* am now MY own priority there. First things first and my first order of every damn day is going to be to check the job situation. Fuck the rest of them.
Second, I'm going to write up and quantify every damned project I worked on so people understand what I've been up against. There are plenty of listings out there that say "get things done" and that is something I am VERY good at. Just look at the list of things.
Third - I am printing out everything I have received from big wigs and co-workers thanking me for my help and also my awards.
If she wants to talk shit about me based on her personal opinion and have NO FACTS to back it up - she's going to come out looking like an idiot. And I don't really give a damn. Unless she can produce evidence to the contrary it's just HER opinion and she needs to get over it.
I will have the FACTS. She can ignore them all she wants but they are going to be presented and allowed to speak for themselves. Let her try to minimize everything I've done. It's not going to happen because there's simply too many things to refute.
Ah. Anyway - Bean is back. She was out sick yesterday. There's something going around. I had to tape her "gift" on the door and everyone in engineering saw it. LOL! It's one of those plastic bracelets that everyone is wearing. You know the ones that say "strength" or "live strong" or some shit like that.
Well, OURS say "live wrong". LOL! Found them at actionvillage.com (it's a skateboarding site. Hey, type "skating" into google and you get all sorts of boarding sites. But they have the best stuff anyway. I don't REALLY have a "figure skater" fashion sense. heeee!)
She thought it was too funny. It was taped on her door in the package. Which happens to read "for the REST of us". Oh hell yeah! LOL!
She came downstairs to see me and brought me some gifts from Iowa she picked up. A magnet and a pin. So cute! LOL! That pin is awesome "doesn't play well with others". You know it! LOL!
Tonight I went to the library and picked up some books on the violin and some music. I was flipping thru the ethnic music section looking for some gypsy/romanian music (for the violins) and found this CD from "Les Nubians" called "One Step Forward". It's very very good. Very smooth, nice jazzy sound with some great hand drum rhythms. The words are mostly in French but hey - it sounds good and the music is very nice. Me likes. Me may have to go buy for my very own.
Speaking of music - I was in half price books the other day and found a couple of CDs of X files music. They are surprisingly good! I was quite shocked. Not many original artists but the covers are very nice. I was impressed. Some of this stuff is just nice to listen to in the background.
Hey - I put on that Missy Elliott CD and I want to DANCE. I can't put on dance music or belly dance music and sit still. It just don't happen.
Now it's time to practice my violin. Then we'll appease Mr. Wicked by writing a bit more. That's sort of taken a back seat to all of the work drama going on. But hey, I can't help that. I gotta pay the bills, right? And he sure the hell isn't helping. Dang pointy ear don't know the value of a dollar, that's for sure!
The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 8:21 PM
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