being an adult.
As well as being a major pain in the ass.
Sure, I can eat ice cream and pizza anytime I want but I also have to deal with insurance agents, lawyers, call centers - the DMV (ugh!). That can be bogus. So can paying bills, cleaning the house and generally not doing anything "fun" (like digging in the yard or reading a book).
I would say that cleaning up dog poo on the kitchen floor also ranks as a "not fun adult thing" that I have to do.
The one that strikes the most terror into MY heart, however, is going to the Department of Motor Vehicles. God! I'm just dreading it and I don't have to go for another week! The thought of standing in that endless line of toothless rednecks, pimp daddies and totally clueless imbeciles behind the wheel just makes me shake in my boots.
Maybe I should have decorated the house like the DMV for Halloween! Now THAT would have been frightening!
We finally found a car for my parents this weekend. No thanks to my brother who couldn't even find ONE car to look at (in all fairness, the one he DID go to see was hidden in a shed so it couldn't get repo'd. The clown selling it hadn't made any payments and the repo man was looking for it so he was trying to sell the thing before it could get repo'd.)
They got a big old boat (Buick Park Ave) that my dad STILL can't seem to get in and out of! Now what amazes me is that the lady who sold it to us is 93!! And both she and her 90 year-old husband had no trouble getting in and out of the car so why is my dad unable to do it? He's much younger than both of THEM yet is incapable of putting his foot out the door and getting out of the thing.
But mom likes it and there's plenty of room for him in the trunk if he doesn't behave! (just kidding - I don't say anything here that I wouldn't say to his face. Seriously).
I had to drive "The Monster" home. It was a little intimidating since I'm not used to anything that - um - "stately". It needs a little work, of course. Mainly just cleaned up (they let it set for 2 years in the garage so the fluids are gross.) It was also full of cobwebs and spiders. Apparently, I had streamers of cobwebs blowing out the windows as well as from the underbody as I drove down the street (which entertained my brother who was driving behind me.)
So HE will be doing some work on it. I will probably be doing most of the cleaning and grunt work but that's ok. I'll watch and learn (or RE-learn in this case. I could do it for anything made pre-1985 probably but after that - yeah. Too much "electronic" nonsense.)
For the time being, things are calm in The Land of the Lost. I'm having a get-together this weekend for the skating club which means I have to clean. Sort of. Since it a Halloween party, the cobwebs and dust add to the "atmosphere" of the place. But I WILL have to clean the bathroom and mop the kitchen. The dog hair tends to migrate to these places no matter how often I sweep.
Both The Bat and One Eye have their costumes ready. I know, it's humiliating for them and if one of them bites me, I probably deserve it for dressing them up and taking pictures of them. But I just HAVE to - One Eye has a little pirate hat with an eye patch (it had to be done) and The Bat has a nice Elizabethan ruff with a little crown for her prissy princess ass.
I won't make them dress up for the party, tho. They will have to stay in their cage so nobody trips over them (they tend to get under your feet and make a nuisance of themselves when they aren't cowering behind me). I might let them out to socialize for a minute but I will need to keep an eye on them so they don't wander off (Batticus might "run" but Tobs doesn't move faster than a crawl so he can't get far).
I have discovered that putting a glow stick around his foot makes him much easier to spot in the house when it's dark. Or when he's outside at dusk. Being black, he tends to get lost in the shadows so the glow stick is an easy way to spot him and not have to put on my glasses.
I've been insulating my hot water pipes and the attic space. Absolutely NOTHING was insulated which just horrifies me. No wonder the hot water never got hot and it was always so cold. There is just some minimal insulation under the attic floor but nothing on the outside wall and nothing on the pipes or the ducts. So I've been slowly insulating when I can. It is a SLOW and nasty process in that attic. I have to put on the "bio-hazard" suit and respirator with gloves to crawl around on my belly. It can get kinda stifling up there, too.
Fortunately, I'm not afraid of spiders because there is a mess of them all over the place. I don't really mind them - but I will yelp when they dart out at me or fall on me unexpectedly. But they don't really bother me.
Last night, some stupid BIRD decided it wanted to nest in my basket for clothespins. It was after dark and I went to put a clothespin in the basket and this thing flew out at me. Of course I yelled (it scared the piss outta me!) then I shouted curses at it so the neighbors would know I wasn't in any serious trouble.
My horrible manager is suddenly trying to be "nice" which is as unusual as it is frightening. My co-worker thinks it's because she's going on vacation next week (THANK GOD!). I think someone might have "taken one for the team" and fucked her ugly ass. Whatever it is, it scares me but I know it won't last.
Anyway - how lame is she? Well, I was quoting Milton, "jealously is the injured lover's Hell" and she says, "who's Milton?"
Me, "You know - 'Paradise Lost'?"
Her (in all seriousness), "I never heard of it."
My co-worker and I just look at each other and shake our heads in disgust.
Seriously? Really? You've never heard of "Paradise Lost"? Have you, like, ever gone to the movies? Ever read anything just for the hell of it and not because it was some stupid SOP you wanted to nit-pick over?
Oh, I forgot. You're too busy being a hateful nit-picking bitch to be a well-read edumacated bitch.
The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 1:25 PM
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