What if certain characteristics of your physical self are constant thru incarnations? Of course, that would assume one believed in "reincarnation". But what if?
For example - I was reading a excerpt from the "Diet Right for Your Type" book. Mind, I don't usually read "that stuff" because it's pointless. However, the author brings up an interesting bit about where blood types "originated". The anthropologist in me suddenly became quite interested in this bit of information. Of course, it was only enough to pique my curosity (meaning I'll have to get the book from the lib) but it was interesting nonetheless.
What made me wonder about this type of thing carrying over from incarnation to incarnation was my dad. See, he seems to have an affinity to where his blood type supposedly "originated".
It could be nothing more than an odd coincidence. But what if . . .?
What would you do if you could know the outcome before you began? Would you still do it even if it were bad for you but good for humanity?
I've been having trouble sleeping again. I swear sometimes I think I'm having a nervous breakdown. I don't want to sleep altho I'm exhausted (I CAN'T sleep eventho I'm about to fall over from exhaustion). I don't really want to eat, either. The only think I haven't been able to avoid is skating. It's the only thing that keeps me going. And The Creature.
Who, by the way, is a big, fat liar! When he knows MOM is home and will yell at me, he won't chase me around the house. But when MOM isn't THERE to tell me to let him catch me - he runs around after me like a mad thing! He's a turd! (I say that with the utmost affection. I love that dog. He's my baby!)
I still hate this fucking job. Actually it's not really the work - it's the fucktards and the corporate mentality. Nobody listens. Nobody cares. Until the shit hits the fan and then they want to act like they were completely in the dark all along! WTF??
The longer I stay here, the shorter my fuse gets. They just keep piling more and more work on us while they take people away. Hey - I have a life. It may not be some big superhero life but I have one and I enjoy it. I have absolutely NO intention of spending 12 hours a day 7 days a week in this hell hole. Because it wouldn't matter. There would still be work piling around my ears.
It never ends. Sometimes I just think bad things. Really bad things that I'd rather not voice. Maybe that's why I've been having bad dreams lately.
The other night I dreamed I strangled Kristen Dunst with my bare hands. WTF?? She's really not on my "most hated celeb" list or anything. Just sort of "blah" so why do I dream of strangling HER, of all people?
I didn't want to. I didn't! I felt really bad for having to kill her but she knew who I was and was going to turn me in so I had to! And the only thing I could do was strangle her. God, it was horrible! I remember my hands are so small that I couldn't get them all the way around her neck. And I wanted to make it quick (because I didn't WANT to kill her but if I had to then I would at least try to make it quick) but I couldn't. It was just bad.
Then, once I finally managed to kill her, one of her sisters in the dream walked in on me standing over the body. So I had to kill her, too. Because then SHE knew. It was distasteful and repulsive and I just hated every minute of it but it had to be done. And I felt bad. I wished neither of them knew who I was so they could have lived.
I'm glad it was just a dream. It really disturbed me. It still bothers me to think about it. Why are they so real? Creepy. I mean I could FEEL my thumbs digging into her windpipe. God, it was awful! *shivers*
Maybe THAT is why I can't sleep. I've had bouts like that before in the past - where I'm afraid of my dreams so I won't sleep. Is that not stupid?
I am hopeful that this weekend when I go camping I can finally get myself settled down. And if not, then there's enough tequila to knock me on my ass into a blissful dreamless sleep for at least ONE night.
The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 4:08 PM
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