What is it that bothers me?
Why is it that every job I've had I feel like I've been thrown in and expected to sink or swim? There has been no help and high accountability.
Frustrating, angry, sad, scared, resenting. How can companies expect their employees to produce if they don't train them? I'm tired of taking jobs where I'm expected to "just know" what the fuck is going on after working there for two weeks.
Hey, if I wanted to use my psychic powers I certainly wouldn't waste it on THIS place, dig? I'd set up my own internet site and make a shitload of $$$. Hello!
I've gotten better training at fast food places than I have at my current company. Which is sad considering who I work for and how they tout themselves. Don't you believe the shit they're selling.
It seems like so many places are just wanting to get more done faster with less people. Why? Doesn't it seem to follow that if people don't know what the hell they are doing they are going to make some serious mistakes and cause even more setbacks? I guess they don't think of those things - or figure it can be "fixed" before any serious damage happens. Like that's the smart way to run a business.
There's never time to do it right but there's always time to do it over.
And these sniveling idiots who think that I can make up for their lost time. Uh, no. First of all, why should *I* be punished for your fuck ups? You screwed up - you fix it. But it doesn't happen that way. They fuck off and fuck up and expect me to pull their feet from the fire. And if I refuse then I'm being "uncooperative". No, maybe I'm just expecting people to take RESPONSIBILITY for their actions. Fancy that concept!
Change of direction - I'm wondering if somehow you subconsciously remember bad things and relive them (or the feelings of the) at the same time every year. For example - many years ago something bad happened to me in September. I don't talk about it (never have and I don't want to) and I wonder if maybe that might be part of an underlying "bad feeling".
I don't know. But I wonder.
I had to take 1/2 day off work today because I've been on the verge of tears all day. Why I'm not completely certain. I think part of it is due to anxiety over my job. Part of it is probably hormonal (it's my time of the month) and part of it might be that "bad" thing coming back to haunt me. (But I'm not so sure about that).
All I am certain of is I'm sick and tired of being treated like shit. I'm not your whipping bitch that you can just force to "do" things for you because the person responsible won't. I'm tired of "rescuing" fucking morons at the last minute because they don't have enough sense to learn from their past. I'm sick and tired of living in constant "crisis" mode all of the time because you fucktards don't know the first thing about planning. Or really don't care to plan because they know we will "save" them.
Now if these idiots actually had to SUFFER the consequences of their idiocy then I wouldn't care. As much, anyway. But when *I* have to suffer because of someone else's idiocy and then watch them get the credit for it - is it any wonder I'm indignant as hell?
As an aside - I'm looking here and I'm finally down to 6 projects. Finally. Sadly it is a relief! I'm down to the number of projects everyone else had in the first place and it feels like a relief!!! That's fucked up, people. No two ways about it.
So today I've been wallowing in self-pity. I don't do it often but when I do - man! Yeah, I'm feeling sorry for myself and unappreciated. After two years of this bullshit I've had it. I've had all I can stands and I can't stands no more!
When I talked to A about her job (because I was thinking of going into the same thing) she was like "oh, they won't let you go - you know too much". When I told her they were trying to get rid of me, she was like "well, that's stupid. You're the senior person with all the experience." Yeah, well, they don't care about that. They only care to make nice and not tell idiots they are idiots and expect them to do their jobs.
A said that it would be a very good thing to get out of what I'm doing now because she knows they treat us like shit. She said it was better where she was but she also pointed out that she had her boss' support that WE do NOT.
When she left she said, "oh, I'm so happy for you to be getting out of here. You guys deserve better than this."” And I nearly burst into tears. Sad, isn’t it?
No one thanks us for busting our asses on a daily basis. For making miracles on a daily basis. They take everything we do for granted until we fuck up. Then they want to get ugly. The only time you get any attention is when you fuck up. What sort of message does THAT send?
And if you make a mistake because you simply weren't AWARE of something (due to THEIR lack of training/communication) it's considered a shortcoming on YOUR part. "You should have KNOWN that you needed training for this." How the fuck am I supposed to know what it is I don't know?
After two years I still feel like I'm floundering. There's no help. There's no support. If I ask for help I don't get it or I'm told to "come back later - I'm busy". WTF??
I'm tired of people dumping their shit on me and expecting ME to fix it. It's not my job to put this shit into the system. If it isn't in the system then I'm not shipping it. Deal.
It's not my job to make sure other people do THEIR jobs. It's THEIR manager's responsibility. NOT MINE. If it is going to become my responsibility then I want their damned pay.
If you have a problem with someone else's work/report do NOT come to me and think I can "fix" it or even know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm in department X. Not Y, not 1234, not department bob. If you have a problem with individuals in those OTHER departments not doing their work, I would suggest you go take it up with THEM instead of telling ME to do your dirty work. You're a manager. YOU get paid to deal with them. I do not.
The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 6:38 PM
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