It's that time of year again. You know - when you just wanna choke someone - preferably the person ahead of you in line who can't seem to pick up anything with a price tag on it.
Anyway - this sort of dovetails the dating rants as well. This is the time of year when most people - ok, most WOMEN have triple the amount of work to do. WE are the ones who shop, bake, wrap presents, send the cards, etc. What do the guys do? Same thing they do the rest of the year - nothing. Sit in front of the TV guzzling beer and sleeping.
So why do these same idiots think that I have the time or the inclination to meet them, sleep with them or even talk to them? Why? Have I not told you a million times that I am BUSY wrapping, shopping, cooking? What part of that do you not understand? Oh, all of it. I forgot. Yeah, you wouldn't understand because you NEVER do it.
I swear, the more email from these idiots I get the happier I am that I'm single. These morons are totally clueless. For some reason they seem to think that laundry is "magically" done and put away, that cookies "magically" appear and presents "magically" appear AND wrap themselves. Get a fooking clue, you morons!
Why am I not talking to you? Maybe because I'm busy trying to bake YOUR damned cookies you're going to gorge on at the office party next week. Maybe because I don't like my place smelling like poo and dirty socks. Or maybe because I'm tired of your incessant whining and pleading for my attention. Get over yourselves! Dang! The freakin' DOG isn't even THIS bad!
What really torques me is the married guys who say "my wife doesn't have time for me anymore". You worthless piece of tripe! Maybe if you got off of your LAZY ass and helped take CARE of YOURSELF she WOULD have the time to pay attention to you. But no. You EXPECT her to take care of you, clean up after you, feed you while you do nothing to help yourself. It's no wonder you don't get any attention. Idiot! Apparently this cause and effect model isn't something that they can relate to.
So, let me put it like this. For example, you (as a guy) are Brett Favre. Your wife is a offensive lineman. OK, when she does her job (blocking) you can do YOUR job (getting all the glory). Well, what if she STOPPED doing her "job"? Your ass would get beaten to a pulp. No questions asked.
While she might not have the most glamourous job in the world, if she stopped doing it, you'd be on your ass sniveling (sort of like when she doesn't make your dinner). So shut the hell up and go give that hard working woman a hug. And wrap some presents while you're at it! Do YOUR part to take care of YOURSELF (you're not an invalid) and you'd be surprised how much more amineable to your demands for attention she can be.
It's pretty frustrating when everyone DEMANDS of you but no one wants to GIVE anything to you. That's what SHE feels like. Hell, it's what I feel like and I'm not even living with one of them! Their constant demands for attention are really getting on my nerves.
Get this - they all don't want someone who is "fat" in their eyes but yet you're supposed to spend every waking minute with them. How in the holy hell do you think I've managed to stay at my weight? By sitting around eating junk? NO. By NOT eating and exercising my ass off. You don't want a fat girlfriend then you're gonna have to deal with the fact that I have to go to the gym. Shut up and deal with it.
I don't CARE how horny you are or what YOU want. I NEED time to myself to think and dream. I want and need time to work out and skate. If you can't live without me for a couple hours a day then you've got bigger problems than just a hard on. I suggest you seek therapy. Or a prostitute.
Whew! Now that I've got that off my chest I can ride my bike!
The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 4:43 PM
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