~What in the Hell?~

Friday, December 17, 2004

~ Historical Inaccuracies ~

I like to think of myself as fairly open minded when it comes to costuming. I mean, I realize that not everyone has disposible income and a lot of people are allergic to wool or don't like the way linen wrinkles. And in the Society I'm quite forgiving about footwear and other "anachronisms".

But . . . but . . . doesn't Hollyweird have enough cash to be able to afford to properly outfit someone in at least some semblence of period garb? Is that too much to ask? And I KNOW they're are PLENTY of SCAdians in and around the area - why doesn't some big shot producer show up at an event, drag one of them off to the side and say "hand over the duds - here's $500." Bang! I'd be stripped down to my corset and drawers in a heartbeat!

But no. "They" think "we" don't "notice" such things as Tshirts in the 15th century. WTF?

Why does this bother me? It just does. One of my "costuming nazi vs hollywerid" pet peeves. People, it doesn't cost that much to get proper garb - especially for early period movies. Cotton is CHEAP and no one can tell it's not linen on screen if it's cut right! How freakin' hard is it to make a couple of cotton kirtles, cotehardies and t tunics? It's NOT!!!

Case in point. "Kingdom of Heaven". New movie with Mr. Lickalicious (Orlando Bloom) as a blacksmith turned "knight" or some such nonsense. Set during the "crusades" (they haven't quite told us WHICH one, mind you). But I'm willing to overlook this tripe for the sake of the Scrumptious One.

Now if there is one thing I absolutely positively LOVE more than ANYTHING it chain mail. Sexy as hell in my book.

Put The Big O in some chain mail and - Lord have mercy! I just might spontaneously combust from lust overload! (Ah, the fantasy is delightfully decadent, I can assure you! ) So you can imagine my eagerness when my gf posted some stills from the production.

All was well and fine until I fully opened the picture. A scream of horror escaped my lips and I nearly burst into tears when I saw that Orlando (for shame! for shame!) was wearing a damned Tshirt and jeans under this beautiful mail! WOE!!!! WOE!!! I was horrified, appalled, crushed and dumbfounded. WTF???? WTF is he thinking?? Who in the HELL let him wear that?

The unforgiveable crime: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v361/coolmelt/orlandooutofperiod.jpg

My dream - my fantasy lies in ruins. Crushed under the weight of Orlando's stupid t-shirt. I cannot adequately convey the overwhelming sense of loss I am feeling now. To go from the highest high (Orlando in chain mail) to the lowest low (Orlando ruining said chain mail by not wearing the proper undergarments) is just too much for my old heart to bear!

I'm so devistated by this I just might have to get some work done today. My GOD, that is a complete tragedy of unparalleled porportions. My mind is not capable of coping with such a disturbing turn of events - never mind my hormones!

The only good thing that could possibly come of this is - he realizes what a horrible mistake he has made, rings me up and begs me to make him a properly fitting gambeson and leggings.

OK, so he won't have to beg.

Dammit, man! I was all ready to "squee" like a stupid teenaged fangirl until I saw your undergarments, curse your lickable hide!

Can you imagine my anguish? My costuming sensibilities outweighing my hormones! The horror is just too much to bear! *goes back to work*

The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 1:12 PM

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

~The Mighty Nephy~

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Get awesome blog templates like this one from BlogSkins.com