Figuring that I don't have much to lose at this point, I ask a male friend his advice. He sends me to an adult site that has exactly what I'm looking for. Hey, they aren't paying me so I'm not giving them any free advertisement. Suffice it to say it is a site with no horrified conservatives on there.
I post my profile stating that I am a tomboy who is looking for a dude to hang out with and a possible LTR. Nothing vulgar, nothing crude. One face shot from Glamour Shots and one body shot of me in a pair of tights (because I think it's only fair they know how bottom heavy I am).
Well, damn, girls! The response was frightening! I figured I'd get maybe 10 or so - about the same I got on Yahoo. No way. I had 34 the first day and had to turn off my profile to go thru all of them. Didn't take me long to realize that I needed to be more specific in my desires.
Several married men. A few couples (did I not say I was straight? That I wanted ONE SINGLE guy?) and a few prospects. Some more frightening than others. Again, I got the demanders - first email to me they start demanding that I call them or meet them. Uh, NO. Hello? Freaking idiot! Do you not watch "forensic files" or "cops"?
*sigh* Same rules as before - if I don't like the sound of your email I'm not calling you nor am I going to meet you so shut up! Demanding that I call you or meet you right this minute are going to get you blocked. Bang! Damn, I love that block button! It should be called "idiots be gone!"
Now, asking me to call and TELLING me to call are two different things. A note of advice to any dude out there reading this (you must be horribly bored!) DEMANDING a woman's attention is a sure fire way to end up dropped like a hot rock. No one wants to be constantly berated to "call me" or "meet me" or worse. At best you just won't hear from her again. At worst, she'll be like me and tell you to your face that you're an asshole in no uncertain terms. Now is that REALLY what you want? I didn't think so.
Back to the juicy part of this tale. I was and still am frankly amazed at the number of single dudes out there that seem, well, normal! Cute, clean cut, intelligent, gainfully employed - most of them seem to be looking for the same thing I am. A companion of the opposite sex that they can hang out with and maybe get something going. How bizarre is THAT?
I'm telling you, I feel like Alice in Wonderland - that I've fallen thru the looking glass or something. Everything I thought was "real" is not and everything I didn't believe could exist does. It's just not right. How can there be so many liberal normal dudes in this town? I thought they all got shipped off during the great blue state stampede!
And many of them are honest - yes, I'm married or yes, I have a serious gf. I'm like WTF? Amazed that they would ADMIT it and amazed that they would want to look elsewhere. Damn! I need to get out more often.
So, here I am, my mouth hanging open and reading all these emails from these dudes who are just what I've been looking for. I felt like I hit the jackpot or something!
I call Bean and tell her. She sends me some pix of the dudes who have written her on Yahoo. One in particular was quite unnerving - a female. "Didn't you set that to dudes?" I ask.
"Yes, but she doesn't care," Bean answers. Damn. That's disturbing.
I think I can top this, tho and it doesn't take long scanning my email to find a picture of a man, naked from the waist down, leaning over a chair - his naked butt (and everything else) just a hanging out there for the world to see. I nearly fell off of my chair. Luckily, I had enough presence of mind to hit the "send" button before I passed out from laughter.
Bean's scream on the other end of the line woke me from my stupor. "That was wrong," she says. "You should have warned me."
"I did!" I protested. "You didn't believe me."
"I'll get you back for that!" She threatens.
That night she made good on her threat. In my inbox was a photo of a guy and his email to her requesting a date. Poor man had not one tooth in his head. None. Had the sunken in "bitter beer face" we all remember. Wanted to show her "a good time". I was numb with shock. Certainly this had to be a joke. What kind of person would send a toothless picture of themself to someone and ask for a date? This is just beyond all human comprehension. Or at least MY human comprehension.
So now it's back in MY court. I need to find something to top this. I can no longer wait for these things to turn up in my inbox. I must search them out! I cannot let Bean win this challenge!
The Rogue Goddess saw shadows dancing at 1:24 PM
1 Comments:
Good post. I hope you have better luck with the guys. I am only 27 and have some bad luck with the women too. If you want to chat with someone on yahoo messager. I do have an account. I like socializing with people from all over. Blogging is very interesting. Lots of interesting people providing interesting ideas. Anyways good luck!
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